Born This Way - Joe

Born This Way: Joe
Joe, age 4Detroit, MI (1975) Here I am, hating f*cking clowns at the circus. The circus was cold that day, it smelled like horse crap and the clowns were too -- available.

As a dour child growing up in Detroit, I lit up for Wonder Woman, The Bionic Woman, Police Woman or anything with the word Woman in it.

My first famous crush was John Schneider. I was about 7 when I had a dream about Bo Duke, after watching him go skinny dipping on the
"Dukes of Hazzard."

I was unable to articulate what I was feeling at that age, so I took to scrapbooking photos of him until Johnny Depp came along.

By then, I knew exactly what I was: A Penis Enthusiast

My mom always says, 'You were a miserable child.'
Then I remind her it's because, 'I spent 9 months in your miserable womb.'

Joe's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Schneider (on "Dukes Of Hazzard")